DISCLAIMER:
Below are real questions posed by teens. The answers we’ve given are not meant to be taken as legal or medical advice. Although all efforts have been taken to protect the privacy of those asking the questions, this Web site is not secure or confidential.

If you are seeking answers to personal question(s) or are in immediate crisis, please contact your local Pennsylvania rape crisis center at 1-888-772-7227 or click here for a listing of centers in Pennsylvania.

Outside of Pennsylvania, contact the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE or access RAINN’s Online Hotline at www.rainn.org, Monday thru Friday from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. (EST) for a secure web-based crisis hotline that provides live, secure and confidential help to victims.

Question: My guy friend got raped by his guy friend a couple days ago. Is there any way he can still preserve the evidence? What charges can be pressed?

Although a forensic rape exam should be done within 72 hours of a sexual assault to be most effective, valuable evidence can still remain a few days following an assault. A victim should still see a doctor (at the emergency room, doctor’s office, health department, or Planned Parenthood) to be tested for sexually transmitted infections and internal injuries. The clothes the victim was wearing the day of the attack should be placed in a paper bag and taken to the hospital/doctor’s office.

Under Pennsylvania law, male victims have the same rights as female victims when it comes to sexual assault. Any charges pressed would be decided by law enforcement and prosecutors.

Please contact a local rape crisis center (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE) for counseling and more information.

Question: I have a friend who is being sexually abused by an older man. I want to know what I can do to help her.

A trusted adult – parent, teacher or friend – can help find the best course of action to take. The most important thing a victim’s friend can do is provide support and listen. Ultimately, the decision to report the abuse is up to the victim.

Question: I was sexually abused by my father five years ago. I was talking to a therapist for awhile, but it was too expensive. Is there anywhere I can get free help?

Local rape crisis centers offer many ways to help a victim heal, including free and confidential counseling. In Pennsylvania, please call 1-888-772-7227 to find the nearest local rape crisis center. Outside of PA, please call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE.

Question: My father raped me when I was very young. After being adopted, I was molested again for four years. I haven’t talked to anyone about it and think I might be ready. How do I know if I am?

Everyone’s journey to healing begins at a different time. When a victim starts to ask the question, “Am I ready?” it generally means she/he is ready to speak with a professional counselor. Victims should look for a counselor specifically trained in sexual assault, local rape crisis centers (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE) are a great resource. Most importantly a victim should find a counselor she/he is comfortable confiding in.

Also, two books called “The Me Nobody Knows” and “How Long Does it Hurt” are great resources to read about other teens who have survived child sexual assault. Public libraries will offer more privacy and confidentiality than a school library.

Question: My teenage daughter was raped. She wanted to go to the police but on our way to the station she changed her mind. What should I do?

Ultimately, a victim must decide when and if the rape is reported to police. A loved one cannot make that decision. However, it might be helpful to tell the victim that pressing charges can be empowering.

Also, in order to fully support the victim, it is just as important for a victim’s loved ones to deal with their own reactions and feelings about the rape. Local rape crisis centers (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE) are a valuable resource. They can help victims’ friends and loved ones find counseling and start the journey toward healing—regardless of whether or not charges are ever filed.

Question: What happens if someone was raped as a child and waited ten years to tell someone?

Because children seek approval from adults, they are vulnerable to abuse. Perpetrators often “groom” children for sexual assault. As a result, children often don’t tell anyone that they’re being abused. Pennsylvania law provides for an extended period of time to report child sexual assault. Any charges pressed would be decided by law enforcement and prosecutors.

Question: Two years ago I was sexually abused by a friend of the family. No one knows. What do I do?

Ultimately, a victim must decide whether or not to report the abuse to authorities. For the purpose of healing, though, it’s important a victim seek some sort of counseling. Sexual violence is among the most common causes of post-traumatic stress disorder. Counseling can help a victim manage her/his emotions and may even lessen the long-term effects of the trauma. Free and confidential support is available at a local rape crisis center (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE).

Question: I went camping with some friends. I felt sick from drinking and lay down in a tent. One of my guy friends came in and completely undressed me. His penis was touching all over “the area.” Was this rape or sexual assault?

What’s described is definitely a sexual violation. Whether an incident falls under the category of rape or sexual assault is up to law enforcement and prosecutors. Rape and sexual assault are not just committed by strangers in dark alleys. Nearly 7 in 10 victims know their attacker.

Rape crisis advocates are available to accompany a victim to the police station. In PA, call 1-888-772-7227 to reach an advocate from a local rape crisis center. Outside of PA, call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE.

Question: My brother’s friend attacked me. I can’t stand to look at him. Am I just insane or what?

It is completely normal for a victim of sexual violence to feel a wide range of emotions. It’s OK to be mad, sad, scared, or numb. The emotions may be so overwhelming that the victim feels she/he is “going crazy.” For a victim to acknowledge her/his feelings, and work through them, are the first steps toward coping with the crisis. Counseling can also help a victim work through her/his emotions.

Question: It is taking me a long time to overcome the fact that I was molested? I’ve been living with this for years and am still not able to forgive the person.

It’s not mandatory that a victim forgive her/his attacker. The main goal is healing. Healing is a journey, and it is normal to have setbacks. Victims do not have to go through it alone. Individual and group counseling sessions are available. Call a local rape crisis center for information (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE).

Question: I was molested for six years as a child. I have not been able to move on in life. I cry myself to sleep a lot or I don’t sleep at all. I have gone to counseling but nothing has helped.

Never give up on counseling. Sometimes, it takes a victim several tries to find a counselor that she/he will feel comfortable with. Also, it’s important to find a counselor who is specifically trained in the area of sexual assault recovery (a local rape crisis center can recommend one). Group counseling can be beneficial, too, allowing the victim to hear the stories of other people who have been sexually assaulted.

Other healing alternatives are writing/journaling, reading books on the subject and volunteering at a local rape crisis center.

If a victim is having trouble sleeping, a 24-hour hotline is always available (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE).

Question: How do people feel after they’ve been raped?

Everyone experiences sexual assault differently, with different reactions. Victims can feel a full range of emotions at any time. Some people may become withdrawn, others may engage in high-risk sexual behavior. Sexual abuse survivors are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. The chances that a victim will experience post-traumatic stress disorder after an assault are between 50 and 95 percent.

If a victim wants to find out how other survivors are coping, group counseling could be helpful in letting her/him hear others’ stories. Some of the participants may be further along in the healing process and can provide guidance.

Question: I was raped for six years. I can’t stand to be around men. Can’t stand to be in the same classroom as a guy. Hate having male teachers. What should I do about this?

Not all men are rapists. However, some victims may be faced with situations that involuntarily evoke a memory of the assault. Victims are not to blame for this. Counseling can help begin the journey toward healing. Call the nearest local rape crisis center (in PA call 1-888-772-7227; outside of PA call RAINN at 1-800-656-HOPE) and request a counselor of the same sex specifically trained in dealing with survivors of sexual assault.

Question: My boyfriend pushed me down on the floor and got on top of me. He kept trying to take off my clothes. I was screaming no, but he didn’t listen. He kept kissing me and touching me. He got up and said next time he’d get what he wanted from me. Is that rape?

What happened is a form of sexual violation and domestic abuse. The fact that it was perpetrated by a significant other doesn’t make it any less serious. For safety reasons, a victim should not keep it a secret. An order of protection against the perpetrator may need to be filed. Be wary of lines such as, “If you loved me… .” A significant other should care enough to listen to the word “no.”